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I learned this early in life but one lesson I think everyone should learn is that no one knows what they’re doing. We’re all literally flying by the seat of our pants, hoping for a miracle. And sometimes not even that. Some people out here trying to survive.
As a child in a working-class family, we examine the adults in our lives and we think, man, I can’t wait to grow up because they’ve got it all figured out.
But really, if we had the brain meats to comprehend, they’d tell us that they’re scared shitless about damn near everything. They’re frequently worried about keeping the bills paid, whether they’re raising us right, why does inflation suck so badly, why didn’t I get that promotion at work, and any number of reasons why we all question the act of adulting when we become adults ourselves.
Imagine if we knew as children what we had to learn on our own: nobody’s perfect, and fighting for perfection is a losing game.
As you know, I’m on my journey of accepting imperfection. I struggle with presenting the image of perfection in everything I do whether it’s my writing or my self or my voice. It’s an insidious disease that I can’t quite shake. It lingers like poison in my aforementioned brain meats.
I call it out in myself constantly but I know it keeps me down on purpose. It’s threaded through my spirit tightly enough to make me second-guess everything that I try to do. I constantly grant myself permission but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.
It keeps going around and around in a circle but I have seen tiny footfalls of improvement since I’ve named and shamed this ridiculous chip in my shoulder. The thing about me is that I don’t care how long it takes, it’s going to happen because I refuse to give up. I have all the time in the world to accomplish my goals. I’ve never followed any societal goalposts.
If I did, I’d probably be married right out of high school to the first goomba who wanted to be with me. Ha!
So that’s the life lesson I’d encourage everyone to learn: nobody knows what they’re doing… and that’s OK.