Author: Guilliean Pacheco

Guilliean Pacheco (she/her) is a writer and editor of color, but you may also know her as the host of the Raconteuse Radio podcast. Her work has appeared in Nevada Humanities and Helen. She has an M.F.A. in Writing from the University of San Francisco. She’s a misplaced California girl who lives in Las Vegas normally if one could call living there normal. Follow her on Twitter.
sunflowers

Don’t Call It a Comeback

We’re more than halfway through 2022, and it has been a whirlwind of a rollercoaster for me. And I’m still puking the aftermath.   When writing this draft, I resolved to spill the muscles and the ligaments of my heart into this specific entry to relieve myself of the bottled-up emotions that stink my footfalls every day. But I find that the unrelenting chokehold of my grief continues to be a sharp knife in my guts. Plus, we asked everyone who knows to keep it quiet on social media. It wouldn’t be right to violate our family embargo. I will…

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Photo by Willian Justen de Vasconcellos on Unsplash

Insert Emotion Here

He wouldn't want me to cry. Any of us. My daddy died today. Nothing Can If I were in a better state of mind, I would tell you Prepare You That your life will fracture at the moment For the Inevitable You realize that your father is dead, a cold husk Season of Grief Of a man who gave you his DNA. til it happens to you.

work don't stop!

Work Don’t Stop

This chaos that maneuvers the electrical impulses in the confines of my simian brain Overanticipate things I cannot hope to control So I spend my days, wondering where my time went because it so happens that I have found a burst of unrecognizable energy to get things done - today of all days though it comes at a cost of time / space / that multiversal feeling that smacks of guilt - knowing that you should be doing something else you could be, but you don't. guilliean wearing a hello kitty headband Guilliean Pacheco POET

Photo by Christophe Van der waals on Unsplash

Angel

I decided to shake up the limitations of NaPoWriMo and share some of the first poems I ever wrote in between the fresh original material that I'll be generating this month. What a lovely throwback to the poet I used to be. She was a little mixed up about her feelings and working to find her place in the world. I hope that she's happy with how I've tried so hard to make her proud over the years. I wish I could go back in time and tell her the journey that waits for her as a writer and poet.…

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ballpoint pen sitting on top of pad that says sunday

the sunday scaries and other concrete details about adulthood

And the child born on the Sabbath day / is bonny and blithe, good and gay. I was born on a gloomy Sunday morning in Oakland, California. you'd think with the grace of being born on a sunday, that the scaries that plague that sacred day would temper themselves for me. the anticipation of a new week keeps me awake / bright-eyed / bushy-tailed / anxious / restless / intuitive about what I need to start / and god forbid / finish / living for the weekend / four-day work weeks are optimal / but y'all not ready for that…

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Photo by Masaaki Komori on Unsplash

cherry crush

my cheeks blush / from my cherry crush i love vegas in the springtime. that's a lie though. i hate it. a desert chill to wreck my bones. the sunlight crisping up my skin, feet planted firmly on the ground. fans on, windows open. the pollen. OH. the pollen. SO. the pollen. DEAD LY. i may become a poet yet. but the jury continues to deliberate. i like this format. the visual poetry. builds a pretty grave for these scattered words. poetry cannot be taught. it can be shaped. molded. whittled. put together. these patient words are manageable. there is…

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Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

Un début dans l’obscurité

It's the first day of the rest of my life, and I wonder where I will go from here. It's a simple question, asking to partake in a bond phenomenon that can only take place in print. I didn't forget you. You're always here, aren't you? Inquiring / genuflecting / cleaving. There are no effortless responses to these questions that you can't ask me. Media trained flash in the pan but I'll never understand how it feels to be broken by the weight of your perception of me.

Photo by Mikel Parera on Unsplash

Tame

cherry blossoms in black & white you don't need to tame me, because i already am flip the switch snap your fingers and I'll come a-runnin' it is my nature to silence myself snuff out my light so you shine bright This toxic trait, a shield a broken record, Damascus steel in the miasma of my personal failings, a display of / my fractured identity. The detonation of authority... and I Crawl Into Myself Again Muttering under your breath / gets under my skin / and I / cower. The daily bouts of casual anger Pepper a bruised mind Struggled…

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Photo by Morgan Housel on Unsplash

Owe

Photo by Eddy Billard on Unsplash give me your heart, for i am owed i demand of you the thing that i deserve the most i promise you that i will keep it close tenderly, gently, softly no one else will protect you as i can, from the peaks and valleys of this lovely journey that i'm prepared to join but you are beholden to me so long as you let me hold you closer than you ever have before the beating of the heart that's in your chest will be in my hands warm and unfleeting pulsing and strong…

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Photo by George Nifakos on Unsplash

Thrive

This is the part where i'm supposed to say that I'm thriving / living my best life / hustling / stacks on stacks on stacks / I did the right thing at the right time Photo by - on Unsplash Photo by Galina N on Unsplash but i would be lying Sometimes life doesn't go your way, and you have to pivot into something new. Even if it means not moving forward in something comfortable and familiar. Photo by Braulio Gómez on Unsplash fibbing and fishing Transition is a powerful word. For me, it's something that I'm relying on to…

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Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Rumor

What biological imperative makes us want to consume rumors? That's what I want to know. Secrets, lies, videotape. We feel superior to those who perpetrate illicit situations that have nothing to do with us. Depending on the person, it may trigger their downfall. It may bounce off like a red rubber ball in a locker room. If you know, you know. I never liked rumors. What I understood from a young age is that I didn't like to be on the receiving end and even as a child, I knew that if I spoke on it, then it would come…

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Classified

my life reads like the classifieds pages of what's for sale My prompt today is an exercise In making words sound pretty On this page here I'm not so old to forget About classified ads But they remind me of One of the best years ever william beckett of the academy is on the honda civic tour in 2007 in las vegas what's on the auction block I was knee-deep in my mid-2000s pop-punk era Emo, they liked to call it Except the purists would tell you otherwise she's got a decent voice Music saved my life, and I taught…

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