This was meant to be posted on July 31. That was the last draft anyways. Not sure what happened.
For some reason, sitting in my office in a landlocked desert, I had a sudden overwhelming feeling of wanting to be in and/or near the ocean. Some of my favorite memories have been on beaches.
I still remember the excitement from my first visit to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. I remember reading Paddington Bear for the first time as a child, and pondering how awesome it would be to be floating in the ocean and suddenly find yourself in a foreign country, and starting a new life there. I remember falling in love with Pigeon Point Lighthouse, and daydreaming about the day I could move near there so I could be on the beach.
Now, I’m not so picky. I don’t know if I’d live in a place like Hawaii, or Fiji, or something like that. Paradise or not, I feel like each of those places would be too tourist-y for me. I’ve lived in a tourist town for the past decade. I’m so over it! haha But to smell the ice cold ocean breezes, feeling the fog on my skin, and hearing the waves pound on the shore is so appealing. However, there is a downside. There is that romantic part of me that would be like Narcissus and waste away, knee deep in lust with the ocean.
If you were to point blank ask me where my ideal place of living would be, I’d say in a cottage on the beach. All I’ve got going with me is me and my dog, and we don’t require a lot of space, or amusement. We’re couch potatoes unless there’s something that requires attention. I’m also not picky because if I had a twenty minute drive, or a short walk from the beach, I’d be so psyched.
My daydreams are the only things keeping me sane now. I would look at them and think them fanciful, unattainable goals of a madwoman. But after a lot of internal dialogue – and some unbiased opinions from my sister from another mister , Humaira – I CAN achieve this goal. There’s no reason I should be satisfied with my lot in life, if that lot can be better than what I’ve got.
There’s quotes all around that say “be satisfied with what you have.” But why? If we are in a place of mental prison due to our situation, should we not push ourselves to take a flying leap into oblivion? Should we not take chances and live the life we deserve? Failure is not an option but at least I can always say I tried.
I’m hoping for a lot of things to change in the next year or so. I’m making baby steps, sorting out the financial situation, praying the job situation will give me a shot to be one step closer to that dream house near a beach.